The Candle

Music and Lyrics by Zach Walters

In this original musical, Josh, a college student, struggles to navigate adulthood. He flounders in his performance classes at the music college he attends, he isn't sure whether or not to take his long-distance relationship to the next level, and don't get him started on how things are going with his estranged father. Most of all, Josh's grandfather, Charlie, died in a sudden, bizarre accident a year prior; within all these challenges and changes, Josh feels lost and adrift. On Charlie's first death anniversary, or yahrzeit, Josh lights a Jewish memorial candle that burns for 24 hours, and is stunned to find Charlie there. Charlie guesses that he is back in this world for 24 hours, so Charlie and Josh must use this time to help Josh deal with all of the challenges he faces, as well as to say the goodbye they ever got to say.

"The Candle"'s first staged reading was on November 24th, 2024, at Ripley-Grier Studios in Manhattan. The full performance is available here: www.youtube.com/watch?v=OF5PYMMyAJk

Josh attends a grief therapy group, where he struggles to share the story of how his grandfather died. Afterwards, his girlfriend, Mia calls, pressing him to commit to moving in together next year. After unsuccessfully trying to reach his father, Josh explodes:

WHY WON’T MIA GIVE ME TIME?

WHY WON’T MIA UNDERSTAND?

WHY DOES SHE ACT LIKE IT’S A CRIME

FOR ME TO GO SLOWER THAN SHE’S PLANNED?

I CAN’T EXPLAIN WHAT HOLDS ME BACK

LIKE A WALL EMERGES FROM THIN AIR

LIKE EVERYTHING’S WRONG, AND I’M OUT OF WHACK

AND I CAN’T GET PAST WHATEVER’S THERE

GRANDPA’S OUT IN THE SNOW, AND SO AM I

WATCHING EVERYBODY PASS ME BY

THE WINTER’S NIGHT IS SILENT, DARK, AND COLD

GOD, I WISH I HAD A HAND TO HOLD

PULL ME INSIDE BEFORE I FREEZE

SET ME A PLACE AT THE TABLE

GIVE ME SHELTER, PUT ME AT EASE

I’LL HELP WITH CLEANUP WHEN I’M STABLE

I’LL SHARE A LAUGH WITH EVERYONE

WHILE MY RAGS GO INTO THE DRYER

I CAN LEAVE RIGHT WHEN THEY’RE DONE

LET ME SIT BY THE FIRE

DAD WON’T ANSWER MY CALLS

HE PRETENDS I DON’T EXIST

HE MAKES EXCUSES AND HE STALLS

I’M ALWAYS ON HIS WAITING LIST

THE LIFE HE’S BUILT HAS NO ROOM FOR ME

A FAIRY-TALE BUBBLE OF HIS WARPED DESIGN

I FEEL LIKE I’M NEVER GONNA BE FREE

I FEEL LIKE I’M NEVER GONNA BE FINE

GRANDPA’S OUT IN THE SNOW, AND SO AM I

WATCHING EVERYBODY PASS ME BY

THE WINTER’S NIGHT IS SILENT, DARK, AND COLD

GOD, I WISH I HAD A HAND TO HOLD

PULL ME INSIDE BEFORE I FREEZE

SET ME A PLACE AT THE TABLE

GIVE ME SHELTER, PUT ME AT EASE

I’LL HELP WITH CLEANUP WHEN I’M STABLE

I’LL SHARE A LAUGH WITH EVERYONE

WHILE MY RAGS GO INTO THE DRYER

I CAN LEAVE RIGHT WHEN THEY’RE DONE

LET ME SIT BY THE FIRE

PULL ME INSIDE BEFORE I FREEZE

TELL ME THAT I’M NOT ALONE

I CAN’T TAKE MORE, I’M BEGGING, PLEASE

DON’T LEAVE ME OUT THERE ON MY OWN

(spoken) I want to move on from Grandpa’s death. I want to be free of all this pain.

JOSH sighs and trudges offstage. Blackout.

After Josh gets over the shock of having Charlie back, he takes Charlie to a local mini golf course, as that was one of their favorite things to do together. Here, they open up about the impact each had on the other:

JOSH: THROUGH THIS PAST YEAR, ALL I HAD WERE MEMORIES TO GET ME BY

OF A HUNDRED TIMES LIKE THIS, THOUGH ICE CREAM USUALLY CAME AFTER

OR THE TIMES I DROVE THE CART WHILE YOU PLAYED A ROUND OF GOLF

AND WHEN I STOMPED ON THE BRAKE, YOU WINCED AND ROARED WITH LAUGHTER

WE HAD FUN, WE TALKED, NEVER FOUGHT, NOT SIMPLE, BUT EASY

AND YOU SAID EVERY RELATIONSHIP COSTS SOMETHING, BUT OURS SEEMED ALWAYS FREE

YOU WERE MY MENTOR, MY ROLE MODEL, MY ROCK, I KNOW IT’S CHEESY

BUT I WANTED YOU TO KNOW HOW MUCH YOU MEAN TO ME

CHARLIE: YOU KNOW I ONLY HAD DAUGHTERS AND GRANDDAUGHTERS BEFORE YOU

JOSH: THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT

CHARLIE: NO, THERE’S NOT, IT’S JUST DIFFERENT

BUT WHEN YOU CAME ALONG, NEW ADVENTURES OPENED UP TO ME

I WANTED TO GET IT RIGHT, I WAS DELIBERATE

IN A WAY, YOU WERE A SECOND CHANCE, LIKE A SON I NEVER HAD

AND I KNEW I HAD MUCH TO TEACH YOU, TO SHAPE THE MAN YOU’D COME TO BE

HOWEVER I COULD BE INVOLVED, THOUGH I’D NEVER REPLACE YOUR DAD

AND IT GOES WITHOUT SAYING HOW MUCH YOU MEAN TO ME

JOSH: YOU WERE THE ONE PERSON I COULD TELL ANYTHING WHEN I WAS GROWING UP

CHARLIE: WELL, MOST OF BEING A PARENT, OR GRAND, IS SIMPLY SHOWING UP

BOTH: I HAD THE GREATEST MOMENTS OF MY LIFE WITH YOU

JOSH (echoed by CHARLIE): AND I LEARNED SO MUCH FROM YOU

BOTH: YOU MADE ME TO BE THE BEST PERSON I COULD BE

AND THERE WASN’T A TIME WHEN WE DIDN’T AGREE

JOSH: I’M GLAD I GOT TO SAY THIS, AND THAT YOU’RE WITH ME SOMEHOW

YOU KNOW HOW MUCH YOU MEAN TO ME, I WISH I STILL HAD ALL THAT NOW

After talking with Mia, Josh finds Charlie when his 24 hours are about to expire. Josh begs Charlie not to leave, as he cannot bear to say goodbye again, but Charlie reminds Josh that the last words they ever said to each other were, "I love you", and that's the best goodbye anyone can get. He tells Josh that he will always be with him throughout his life:

EVERY TIME YOU FINISH AN ICE CREAM CONE
I WILL BE THERE
EVERY TIME YOU SMELL MY FAVORITE COLOGNE
I WILL BE THERE

AND EVERY TIME YOU HEAR A JOKE SO BAD YOU GROAN
AND EVERY CELEBRATION, EVERY MILESTONE
AND EVERY TIME YOU FEEL LIKE YOU’RE ALL ALONE
I WILL BE THERE

EVERY TIME YOU DON’T KNOW WHICH WAY TO GO
I WILL BE THERE
EVERY TIME YOU LEARN FROM YOUR FAULTS AND GROW
I WILL BE THERE

AND EVERY TIME YOU FEEL LIKE YOU’VE HIT A NEW LOW
AND EVERY TIME IT FEELS LIKE YOU’RE GOING TOO SLOW
AND EVERY TIME YOU FIND YOURSELF WALKING IN THE SNOW
I WILL BE THERE

IF YOU LIVE BY MY EXAMPLE
MY LEGACY GOES ON
WHEN YOU USE YOUR GIFTS TO HELP OTHERS
I AM NEVER TRULY GONE
I AM NEVER TRULY GONE

EVERY TIME YOU REALIZE HOW MUCH TIME’S GONE BY
I WILL BE THERE
EVERY TIME YOU THINK OF ME AND NO LONGER CRY
I WILL BE THERE

AND EVERY TIME YOU LOOK UP AT A CLEAR BLUE SKY
AND EVERY TIME YOU SMILE AND YOU DON’T KNOW WHY
AND WHEN YOU LOOK AT YOUR LIFE AND YOU’RE SATISFIED
I WILL BE THERE